I gotta coo over Gareth Pugh.

What the hell is this? What a clumsy, btec diploma attempt at fashion! And this guy's rubbish was all over Selfridges today - notices were calling him the 'bad boy of fashion'. As if this sort of ridiculous moniker can imbue an untrained wannabe with an ounce of credibility. Sure his delegation skills are good - he got some talented people to work on parts of his collection. When is this bubble going to burst? When is some little fashion boy going to stand up and say 'but the King is naked!' - oh, I just did! House of Holland? House of Crap!

Object of desire

Oh, light of my life.

So for all the crapola that has been going on there have been some oh so good times! I had a meeting in Liberty recently and decided that I would tootle up to the fourth floor for a look at the furniture - I'm in the market for a couple of Panton chairs and wanted to see if they had them in the sale. They did but I didn't get round to ordering them as I was slightly distracted. I found this pokey little room at the back that was just rammed full of amazing things at mental mental prices. They had a Castiglioni taraxcum light which I would love but it just wouldn't fit in this house - both in size and style!
However, next to it was a Shade Shade from Moooi that I have wanted forever but knew it was too big for the house. It was reduced from £710 to £170!!!! I couldny believe it!!! So, I got the nice boy to measure it for me anyway - in the meantime another shopper started eyeing it up. I told her politely to back away from the Shade Shade and gave her one of those smiles that said 'I mean it'. I rushed home and got the tape measure out to see if it would fit in the landing at the top of the house - no, it was slightly too long, a tall person would have to duck to go under it - I was all right though being a person of restricted growth!
Then I had a brain storm - I called the builders and asked if they could move the entire ceiling light electrics six inches to the left so the Shade Shade would hang over the stair well! Now these guys are new to the UK and seem to be still charging Slovak prices as they said two of them would be over to sort it out and it would cost about £30. I nearly wee-ed myself in excitement. I called Liberty to check it was still there and my evil shopping nemesis hadn't bought it. HUZZAH! It hadn't been sold. So, I paid for it over the phone and it is now installed - six inches to the left and looking resplendent over the stair well. Another HUZZAH!

How long?

I can't believe is has been so long since I last wrote anything. Life has been hectic with many mountains of shit to be shovelled through but here I am, still smiling with a vague feeling of optimism!
I managed to get the Summer Sybarite which I'm pleased about despite promising myself that I wasn't going to buy any factory dolls and focus on OOAK, highly limited and old pieces - hey ho, she's a beaut and I couldn't resist, so arrest me!
I was going through some old pictures and found this one of Sushi - she looks so pretty, it took me a long time to gel with her and it was only by wiring her that I started to have some fun.

I haven't had a play in the longest time and, in fact, put a load of Sybs away - they were taking over and I'm going through a nesting stage at the moment, sorting the house out and wanting order. I seem to be happier to look these days and don't necessarily feel the need to touch - perfect for OOAK collecting!! I couldn't find a box for Tattoo or Savoy, they're sitting next to me right now and I am tempted to have a dollyfiddle!

Another serving of lucky charms ...

I don't know what's going on at the moment, it all started in Paris when I won a Sybarite in the raffle, I've never won a thing in my life before this. Then, there was the winning of much art at Liz's event. Well, just last week I was at an event for high net worth homos (HNWH), I think we are invited as the entertainment. I find these people (HNWHs) very strange as they are all gay but all vote conservative, they were thrilled and smug because they'd voted for the winning mayor of London who has openly made homophobic remarks!!! What is that shit all about? Anyway, I digress. So, there was another charity raffle going on and I, of course, bought a ticket - a rather pricey £20 ticket, none of your £1 a strip nonsense! I declared confidently that I was going to win. And, you know what? Yes, you guessed it - I DID!!! The prize is two premium economy tickets on Virgin Atlantic to anywhere in the world except Sydney!!!!! I initially thought I would go to Japan as that has been number one on my wish list for a long time however I also noticed that the tickets could be used for travel to India. I don't know why but when I looked at the two it was India that was calling to me so that's where we have decided to visit. I can't wait and have been busy trying to work out an itinerary. The photography opportunities are going to be amazing. I'm soooooooooooooooo excited.

Those Koorvahs

I can't believe 'the rebbitzens served refreshments in the dining room' to those koorvahs! This is how we used to deal with a nafka in my day.

Lucky Charms

After the great clumps of crap that have been thrown at me of late I figured it was time for some good times. My friend Liz recently completed a Masters and created lots of art which involved her risking electrocution by sticking her face in a flat bed scanner with all sorts of dubious substances, pressing 'go' and calling it art. You know, kind of a high brow version of the office Christmas party where someone always photocopies their ass. Well, one of these pieces won the London Paper's self portrait competition and suddenly she's hot to trot with lots of exhibitions coming up and she's all artist du jour a go go. She's as sweet and self deprecating as ever. So, there was a fund raiser on Saturday night to try to help her raise some funds for framing although I fear we may have drunk away all her donations, she shoulda charged for the wine!!! Anyway, I SWORE I was going to win something in the raffle and was larking around suggesting I do the draw so I could fix it. When the time for the draw was upon us Liz called me up and asked me to pull a ticket from the mug, I randomly selected one and passed it to her and then looked on in horror as I realised I had pulled my own number - there was much shouting of 'FIX, FIX' as the throng jostled and laughed and some looked like they meant it!!! I had won third prize which was two really nice sets of miniature prints. The winning ticket for second prize was then drawn which was two limited edition prints. Finally, first prize, the chance to commission Liz to do a one off piece, was pulled; 'Number 110 - That's ...' OH MY GOD! IT WAS ME AGAIN! Well the crowd went bonkers, booing, hissing, shouting 'Put it back' - it was like a night at the bingo where one person had won the full house AND the snowball! These were supposed to be art loving, civilised, middle class lovies and suddenly I was Frankenstein's monster facing the torch carrying masses. I'd had enough liquid fortification by that point to gird my loins and tell them all politely to 'fuck off'. One voice of reason piped up saying, 'He won it fair and square, get over it'. By the end of the evening I had managed to win everyone over as well as two cool prizes! So now I'm thinking that perhaps I need to SWEAR I'm going to win the lottery and who knows...

What the blazes

So, just over a week ago I got home to find the Brazilian maids in a state of hysteria and loving it. They were in the company of a large fireman called Dave who introduced himself and told me that my house had been on fire. I had worked that one out for myself as the place smelled like the 6th November on a council estate and my kitchen looked like Sarajevo. I was pretty shocked and stammered, 'but we've just got the place back in order after a flood last year'. Dave was quick off the mark in suggesting that we were now due pestilence and should prepare ourselves for a plague of locusts. Easy to be a clever fucker when it's not your house on fire, eh Dave?
So, all of my energy has gone into processing the insurance claim as quickly as possible and just today I got the approval. This means I can start the repairs on the charred hole which is my bathroom floor. However, I loved the final tight fisted money grabbing clutch at any straw from the insurers - just as they confirmed they would transfer payment they hesitated and asked, 'is it suspected arson?' Errrrrrrr, what the f.....???!

Oh happy day!

Today someone brought me flowers!